HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

...

The end.

CohoVersusCoho

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Did one ever know the reason why the pacing and story development change after Ash was hit by lightning in the beginning episodes? How Ash and his world were relatively normal until after the incident? I have a theory. The accident with the bike put Ash in a coma. Days later he was found and was hurried to the hospital and treated with heavy medications. This is why Team Rocket became less menacing. The medication took effect and stabilized his coma dreams, instead of being terrifying, they became idyllic, and he's able to live out his Pokémon master fantasies.

If one had noticed, the early episodes of Pokémon were of amazing quality. The rest of the series is just the results of his subconscious mind fulfilling his desires, as well as attempting to escape them. Should Ash realize he's in a coma, he would wake up, but suffer brain damage. So he has to take down all his mental barriers one by one until he can come to grips with what he is and escape his coma.

This explains why he doesn't change much physically. Also, the worldwide socialism can be explained if you once again realize that this is a dream world; he thought up a safe system of government that would run smoothly and keeps the world going allowing his adventures to work like they do. It also explains a few other things, such as how a child can go off on his own in a world full of dangerous untamed animals, and why every Pokémon center has the same exact nurse. Joy and Jenny he knew from his hometown, and they act as a safety net or anchor, allowing him to feel safe no matter where he goes. The professors, like the Joy's and Jenny's represent stability, and ash's ideals. This is why Gary became a professor. It's also the reason that every time he enters a new region, virtually no one has heard of him, despite his conquests, and why Giovanni leads Team Rocket. How could Paul, the rival of the Sinnoh area, not know of someone who has placed in at least the top 16 of all three leagues and has destroyed the Orange league and Battle Frontier?

Ash’s travelling partners are actually aspects of himself he can enjoy, but doesn't like to associate with himself. Team Rocket are his qualities that he deems "negative", but is coming to terms with. Jesse and James want to appease Giovanni, Ash's Father. Meowth especially wants to appease him because he remembers the good times with Giovanni. This Places meowth in a category known as ash's (corrupted) innocence, and another fragment of ash's humanity. If you note that meowth can speak this quickly becomes apparrent. In fact the whole reason for meowth's speech is so he can help Ash accept Team rocket as part of himself eventually.

Brock is Ash's repressed sexuality. He fell into the coma a virgin and needed an outlet for his growing sexual frustrations. Since he can never experience sex, Brock must never succeed. Brock is a projection of his sexuality, and is constantly shot down because Ash could never “know” sex. Brock isn't just Ash's latent sexuality, he's also his fatherly instincts, neither of which Ash can come to terms with. Brock leaves his siblings to "journey" with Ash. because Ash can't cope with having that much responsibility, much as his foray with a real relationship ends on mysterious terms. Ash just cannot handle commitment at his mental level. Brock's Stay with professor Ivy was an.attempt to outright suppress his sexuality. You'll notice that James got much more dialogue in this part of the series, as well as getting more touchy feel-y with his pokemon and getting most of his backstory. Ash didn't enjoy this much, hence the reasons Brock comes back all horrified, and refuses to speak about it. (ash's subconscious was repressing him at the time, so other than a general feeling of dread he has no idea of what went on then.) This is also why brock keeps coming back to the series....Usually AFTER Ash meets a new girl aspect of himself.Misty is an image that Ash had of a girl. This is why she plays so prevalently in the series but is ultimately unattainable because he never really knew her before the coma. Likely the one that helped get him to a hospital. I have a theory in line with this: Since Misty was his initial love interest (if only subconsciously), he needed her to reach a level of womanhood. He felt that people could only have relationships when they've matured. But in practice, it turned out he couldn't cope with it and just wanted the normal, pushy, arrogant Misty he knew, and wouldn't let her keep Togepi anymore.

Misty is Ash's first attempt at a girl he could love, however, being a girl from the real world, all he really he knew of her was her anger, as a result she ended up quite hot headed in his mind. Constantly berating his sexuality, but eventually mellowing out until she had faded into the background. This was also traumatizing to him, being attached to it. Since then, the thought of anyone around him maturing to adulthood has been blocked, and anyone who shows signs of it will quickly end up leaving for another, more naive fill-in.

Max came with May, she played the Id with great aspirations, and he played the sensible Ego that "Session". They worked for a little while but Ash, being a teenager, eventually had his sexuality had to come back into play. He kept reinventing himself and eventually wrote new aspects, but his mind slowly brought back the old ones as a crutch to make the transition easier.

Dawn is Ash giving himself a chance to love. since he already established Misty as someone he's not likely to go anywhere with, he created a new super female, one that was more like him, and less violent all the time. (One will note that both May and Misty had no tolerance for Brock whatsoever whereas dawn seems to try and shrug it off.) .

Tracey, The Breeder was a possible future for Ash that he discarded. It was one that he sent off to work with the Professor (the professors being Ash's ultimate ideal of a father figure) when he disrupted the dynamic Ash had with his other possibilities. Ash's mind is fighting the coma and since Ash viewed this one as a companion he was quickly replaced with a more threatening Rival.

Pikachu obviously represents Ash's Humanity, hence the episodes where they get separated, and ash wants desperately to find him, even to the point of working with the rockets ( aspects of himself he woould never normally associate with) but for some reason cannot. They want to steal Pikachu (Ash’s humanity) and hand it over to his father, Giovanni. Jesse and James will always oppose ash because ash is terrified of the thought of his humanity lying in the hands of his father. However this is the same reason that he will work with those aspects of himself in order to save his humanity from just becoming flat out LOST. He couldn't evolve his Pikachu without challenging his concept of who he was, something he wasn't comfortable with while he was still working through his original issues.

Another thing is the narrator. The narrator is Ash's higher mind, recapping and explaining the progress he's made and the tribulations he will face allowing itself insight into how best to awaken him.



Ash has issues With his Father; so he put him atop the evil corporation, and demonized him. There may be an actual team rocket, and I'm positive they're quite dastardly, but I doubt that ash's father is their leader, in fact the head of the rockets wasn't really identified as anyone until later on in the series. The split between ash's parents was likely over ash's homosexuality and some sort of incident as a catalyst, forcing his father to disown him and his mother to move out of the city and down to pallet town. This is why Giovanni runs the faceless Vile corporation, and Why he Berates Jesse, James, and Meowth as much as he does, and why they keep trying to please him. Another thing to notice is the difference in uniform, The rockets Wear Black and Red, where Team Rocket wears White....a symbol of their purity and naievete. They're willing to please father despite his utter hatred of those parts of Ash .

Team rocket are aspects of Ash's personality that he has deemed "bad" James implied homosexuality, and Jesse’s vanity. You'll remember that Meowth has the potential for rehabilitation, and doesn't want to be evil, so yet again this fits in with the conflicting personalities and demonized self theory. Team rocket started cross-dressing because ash had to come to terms with that part of himself. It was something he was able to allow his gay/vain side to experiment with (and by virtue of that himself) When he found that it wasn't something for him, his "Free" side stopped playing with it. Further, their methods of capture become more and more ludicrous (and physically impossible) because Ash is just a kid dreaming these things up. This is the reason Team Rocket's disguises are always believed. He knows it's them (on some level), but chooses to ignore it, so he can better himself, in a sense the Ash who wants to escape is sabotaging the ash who wants to stay lost in his mind. So that there can be more conflict, and hopefully an eventual escape. The filler episodes that don't focus on Ash and the gang are his mind working through, and humanizing the parts of himself that he demonized. It's a way for him to deal with issues that Ash and crew wouldn't touch, because it involves treading ground he himself had sworn not to go near. As I said, Team Rocket and the episodes they occupy are Ash dealing with ground he feels uncomfortable with tackling on his own. Jessie is Ash's vanity and gullibility, she will trick Ash's submissive homosexuality into doing her bidding so she can please father. James' troubled childhood is his way of justifying his latent homosexuality. Now James is Ash's latent homosexuality, hence why he is constantly punished by Pokémon and attacked by random attractive girls. I believe the split between Ash's parents was caused by this part of Ash, maybe an incident at school, bringing shame on the family and forcing them to move to the small, country town of Pallet. Ash's motivations for his journey were to escape mounting pressure at home.

So in a way, Ash IS Team Rocket. The rest of the whole organization Including Butch and Cassidy is symbolic of his inability to escape his father's machinations.

Mr. Mime is actually a stand in for Ash's father, one that can't emotionally abuse him or his mom. He is a Pokémon, a peace loving creature that's oddly humanoid, but that can never hurt a human. Ash's was never really hurt by a Pokémon, so he sees them all as harmless; whereas, in the real world they may be quite feral or vicious (as seen in the early episodes). Again falling back to the theory that the only real Pokémon are the ones from the first season, and everything else is just further speculation coming from his mind on what new species would look like.

The new teams ( magma, aqua, and galactic) are Ash attempting to work out the problems he has with his father. to do that he first needs a new "bad guy" to feel good about beating, and if Giovanni isn't leading a criminal organization he can more easily relate to him.

If one recalls, there were real animals early in the show and references to animals in the game and show. For example, a clear case to point out is the aquarium of fish in the Cerulean City Gym or that by the Pokédex that Pikachu is a “rat-like” Pokémon. But they don't matter to Ash's psyche so they don't come into play much. If Ash had loved puppies, everything would be about different breeds of dogs, and a dog fighting circuit. But, as the series goes on longer, we've been seeing less realistic animals and more Pokémon. This could be a sign of Ash’s mind deteriorating. As he's in this coma, he's losing concepts of some animals and machinery and replacing them with Pokémon. It could explain things like electric Pokémon working as power generators. A sign that his memory of the old world is slipping more and more as time goes by. The Pokémon realm will be idealized continuously the longer he has no stimulus from the real world. He may or may not be mentally deteriorating , but he is becoming more accustomed to his fake world's rules. The wild Pokémon are his rationalizations of the functioning of the world. It’s the "A wizard did it" Syndrome. If he doesn't know how it works, his mind says Pokémon. He justifies anything he can't explain with Pokémon, and real animals fall into the background because he has no real interest in them.

The Pokémon in Ash's team are his issues, for example Charmander represents his sex drive (not his sexuality like Brock) at first it's a cute easy to control thing, but eventually becomes a raging inferno of disobedience. Acquiring his team means getting at his issues, but as he trains them, he works said issues out. Other trainers are more direct forms of his issues, ones that he must either come to terms with or outright supress. Gym leaders are more primary aspects of his personality with each Pokémon being stronger than the last, to display a level of skill he could be capable of if only he gave into it. In effect, he is doing battle with a part of him that he would rather not have in control. Bulbasaur was Ash's unwillingness to change, this is reflectedwhen it declines to evolve and how it almost decided to stay behind unless he battled it. Squirtle was his willingness to follow the lead of others, as evidenced by the gang it ran with, even though he ran the gang, they were viewed as one group, and ash's subconscious just gave him the strongest one. Butterfree was his crushing loneliness, which he dealt with when he released it to join a flock. His bird types are his recklessness, always willing to sacrifice something at a moment's notice for the win. When Ash is trading Pokémon, it's an attempt to push his own problems away on someone else; however, he realizes this and usually trades back fairly quickly. Originally ash had the battles, which evolved into team battles and contests. The explanation for this is that his issues became more and more complicated, and the means of dealing with them needed to become more complex. the fact that he uses issues that he has already dominated to win these are signs that he's growing stronger.

Not only are Ash’s Pokémon are a manifestation of different parts of himself, so are Pokémon of other trainers as well. Koffing and Ekans were symbolic of Team Rocket's willingness to change; hence, their evolutions. Once his mind beat that roadblock down and allowed them to change once, it gives him the chance to truly change. Pupitar is a rationalization, a Pokémon that a rival caught before he met him. Even Ash would become suspicious if everyone he met had no carry-over from pervious places he had been to.

Ash releases his Pokémon because his mind is forcing him to let go of them. The second he raises an overpowered team, a tournament comes up, and after fighting his way through it he has to go to a new land for new challenges, but with an overpowered team, there won't be any challenges, and no way to motivate him further, part of Ash wants to stay in the coma, and keep journeying.

Ash's travelling also never really nets him any fame, no matter what he does, or where he goes, and the answer for that is simple. Ash just can't picture himself as famous, so he essentially adopts a new identity every few months.

The reason he never truly becomes a master is because that would mean he'd have nothing left to dream, and would wake up from his coma. Ash’s dual personality is one that wants to maintain his fantasy world and slowly sort his thoughts out carefully. The other part wants freedom, and to return to his real life, to finally become a real Pokémon master. However if he's allowed to keep his powerful team there's no reason to meet and tame new Pokémon(Issues), he'll lose interest, and the chance of becoming self-aware comes around again. So it's not that he gives them up, it's that he loses them, and unless he's desperate (such as with Charizard) he can't get them back. It’s basically his mind forcing him to deal with his issues. It would also be a good reason why Paul has shown up at this point, and Ash has been forced to work with him on at least one occasion: It's his mind's last ditch efforts to snap him out of this, to force Ash to actually come to terms that this perfect world is not the best option and he needs to wake up. Paul is Ash's dark side, one that wants to push on even harder and harder, and the part of him that will stop at nothing to escape this coma world.

Ash’s rivals and the Elite four are ultimately the strongest part of this cycle. Having Pokémon that are essentially godlike, they represent both what can be attained and what is unattainable. Gary Oak is what Ash wants to be. He is wish fulfillment. He succeeded, and settled down to a normal life. Ash needs someone to succeed in his world or he won't be able to validate it and will start questioning why he's where he is. It’s a subconscious trap to keep him from becoming too aware of his situation. His mind must have figured out that awareness of the coma would snap him out of it, but it would cause major brain damage, so it took something the boy already loved and built a way out for him with it. However Ash is too complacent to finally fight his way out of it, and cannot escape. This is why he keeps encountering Legendary Pokémon, they're his mind's way of showing him he can do great things if he tries, and it's a way to encourage him to push forwards. The Legendary Pokémon are Ash's mind telling him that he has greatness in him and thus, can escape his happy–go–lucky reality.

Ash's Rivals are all possible futures he envisions for himself (note that they are all older than him). This originated with Gary Oak, someone Ash knew from real life, and built up into a sort of god within his mind. Gary however progressed and changed to suit Ash's vision of himself and ultimate desire, eventually settling down into a professor after beating the Elite Four. With Gary in retirement his mind needed a new rival for him Thus the births of Richie (the Good aspect of his rivalry) and Paul (as the darker aspect, a cut-throat Ash, willing to do anything to escape the coma world).

Richie and his Pikachu were another success story for Ash, but he wanted one he could be closer with. One nearly identical to him. One that even used a similar roster to him. Paul and his Chimchar are the polar opposite of Richie, Paul wants nothing to do with any kind of weakness, and is almost aware of his situation. He's always pushing for something more.

The reason he discarded his original hat and the elements of japanese culture so prevalent in the first season is simple. He wanted to travel and broaden his horizons, every time he reinvented himself to do so; he lost touch with his original self. If he ever does escape the coma he'll likely have achieved a sort of Zen state. Considering the amount of personal issues he deals with inside his head, it's entirely likely that he was the next Buddha of the Pokémon world, and that the lightning strike and subsequent coma are a way for him to realize his true self, and destiny.

Mewtwo was a new form of treatment, done with electric impulses and a machine to knock Ash out of it, taking down every last one of his mental guards (the original Pokémon in the movie). In Ash's mind, Mewtwo and his clones were the treatment for the mental safe guards that were protecting Ash and keeping him comatose; the Pokémon of his world. The clones were counters to Ash's mental safeties, and so each appeared to Ash as the exact copy of his defense, intended to take it down by Force. The clones didn't play by the rules of Ash's world, they didn't use any special Pokémon attacks or moves – they just beat down their counterpart by brute strength. The treatment was working, but there were side effects. The electric jolts were beginning to affect Ash's nervous system, and if the treatment continued, he would be paralyzed. His mind realized this and manifested it to Ash by petrifying him in his dream. Were it not for the end of the treatment by Ash's mother (knowing her son would never want to live in a world he couldn’t explore) Ash would have remained as stone in his dream. After this, Ash needed to recover from the damage of the electric therapy. Obviously it was greatly dangerous to him, and in order to reduce the danger Ash's consciousness felt from it, Ash's subconscious began downplaying the effects of electricity in Ash's world, which is why Pikachu’s electric attacks -once noted for their strength by Team Rocket – no longer have any effect on Ash, other than comic relief.

Even the world Ash lives in evidences this. The sprawling forests and eco friendly cities are all his childish innocence. He never travels on a bike despite the distance due to the accident having given him a phobia of them.

As one could see, it is very likely that Ash is trapped in his world. But like every dream, everything, there is a beginning and an end. What would happen if Ash could fully recover? What would happen if he never does? There are infinite branches of possibilities that spiral upwards and intertwine towards the top at a single point, both in his “world” and the real world. In his hospital room, we see Delia, obviously distraught talking to a doctor with a grim look in his eye. He's saying that their insurance is up, and the boy has had no change in brain activity for seven years. That a shock like this may awaken him. She tearfully agrees.

Professor Oak is there to comfort her as they take Ash off life support.



In Ash’s “world”.



Ash has finally defeated the elite four, and one by one the people around him start disappearing. eventually everything is black. Pikachu comes dashing towards him glowing brighter and brighter in the darkness. Eventually Pikachu reaches ash and the two embrace one last time.



Back in his room, as his life signs fade, Ash mutters his genuine, final words.



I...Want...To...Be,



The...Very...Best.



The image of his gaunt, tube-fed, ten-some-year bed ridden body on the bed. His head appears bulbous from atrophy. As he utters his last words, he barely opens his eyes, seeing a silhouette of the figure at the center of his turbulent emotions, his mother, her face obstructed by her hands wiping away tears. He makes contact with her eyes and lets out one last tear before losing all strength. She breaks down in hysterics.

The worst part of all this is that Ash will die, never having experienced actual love, imagine if you will, having lived in a world like his, completely shut off from all things but yourself, and your perception of yourself, with nothing but better yourself. No other people to interact with and issues to solve with no guiding hand.

The boy will die, never having known his dream, except as naught but a dream. The second he gets out into reality for that last moment, part of him knows it was all a lie, his faithful Pikachu? His friends? All his imagination, and maybe, he could have fought and clung to life, maybe even made a full recovery. But knowing that his efforts and ambitions had all been for naught, he just gave up and let the motion carry him away, just so he could be with Pikachu, in a place where his friends were waiting.

I would like to think that he'll realize that his mother loved him and was holding out hope that he'd recover all that time. On the flip side, though, when he sees her he knows that the hope she had is totally broken and she'd come to the crushing realization that the worst thing that can befall a parent has happened to her: outliving her only child. At once he knows he is loved and that it means that the one closest to him is utterly crushed.



Still, there are other possibilities. The fountain of time flows in mysterious ways. One could not go back, against the current such as Gatsby; but, one could never see what is waiting for him downstream. Ash finally defeats Lance, only to be confronted by not Gary Oak, but a mute, mirror image of himself.

The voice of the narrator speaks to him, telling him that now he can finally escape the prison of his own mind. One by one, his friends appear and melt away into more copies of him, all cheering him on. After a long tough battle against himself with the assistance of all of his Pokémon he had ever befriended, he jolts awake.



In his hospital room he sees his parents asleep; he finds himself unable to speak.

Ash pushes forward towards his recovery. Going through physical therapy, training harder and harder with rehabilitative Pokémon, until he can walk on his own again. This time, an older and wiser ash sets out on a journey. Just like last time, he's late getting to Professor Oak's laboratory. And when there's only one Pokémon left....He suddenly recalls all his memories of his "life" and realizes that all his friends are gone forever.



As he sets out with his new companion, he finds the world is darker than he imagined. More “real”, Pokémon and people die; he too has aged.



He vows to become the Master he dreamed he was. He vows to himself.

He vows to “them”.



I WILL be the very best!

The first time I saw you, a chill ran through my body. Goosebumps coated my arms and I felt compelled to reach out and touch you. You stuck out in the crowd and appeared to be so unique in your ways. But just as soon as you'd come, the chill was gone and you with it.

I eagerly asked my friends about you, but they all laughed and said you were nothing special. You always showed up during this time of the year and stuck around for so long. They labeled me naive for being excited about you, but I could not help it. I never experienced what I felt that day and the thought of you put a little joy in my heart.

Over the next few weeks, I waited anxiously to see you again, hoping that I would get a chance to be exposed to your alluring presence.

That day came on a crisp November evening while my friends and I were headed to a show. Earlier, they mentioned there was a good chance you would be in the area that night. I had a feeling they were teasing me, but just as soon as the comment was said I felt that familiar chill and the goosebumps spike up on my skin. I looked around frantically as we stepped off the curb and into the street. The crosswalk was packed with people rushing to their destinations.

Then I saw you.

It was as though our meeting was fated and in seconds we were about to make that prophecy come true. You floated towards me like I was the only one you saw in the mass of people. My blood pumped furiously through my veins causing my heart to beat rapidly. The sounds of the city melted into the distance; my shallow breaths and heart beat echoed in my ears. I closed my eyes and lifted my head towards the cloudy, grey night sky and parted my lips, exposing my tongue to the chilly atmosphere.

Without hesitation, your icy precipitation merged with the warmth of my tongue and filled me with such bliss that I would never forget for the rest of my life.

A roommate leaves you alone with your date...a bunny makes her bed and cleans the room before you get back, then gets him hooked on Lost.

A roommate asks what's wrong when you are crying...a bunny just hugs you until you stop.

A roommate will stay up all night talking to you...a bunny will talk to you WHILE she is sleeping.

A roommate will share her Doritos with you...a bunny will let you eat the whole bag.

A roommate will watch In Search of Dr. Seuss with you...a bunny will ask to watch it again.

A roommate will tell you to shut the hell up during your third time singing The Circle of Life in a row...a bunny will sit there quietly and wait for you to sing yourself out before telling you that you are so fucking weird.

A roommate talks you through a breakup...a bunny takes you to the field next to Wawa to play baseball with a bed leg and a bunch of rocks at 11:30 at night.

A roommate turns around while you are changing...a bunny looks directly at you and waits for the show.

A roommate appreciates it when you unpack her things for her...a bunny appreciates it when you move all of her things into the bathroom.

A roommate knows that you like to play games online...a bunny knows exactly what game you are playing by the types of swear words you use.

A roommate gets a little freaked out when she realizes that you have been staring at her for the past 3 minutes...a bunny makes a disgusting face right back at you.

A roommate watches The Office with you...a bunny buys you The Office pencils.

A roommate is there for you during a rough time in your life...a bunny is there for you when Stephen Colbert is denied a run for the presidency.

A roommate will be really quiet while you sleep...a bunny will turn off every light except her laptop and be so silent that you don't even realize she is still up with her guild.

A roommate will be sad to see you go at the end of the year...a bunny isn't sad because she knows that she will room with you next year in the housing building, duh!

I <3 my bunny to death!!!!

One-third of the people you meet in your lifetime will hate you immediately, no matter what. Another third will love you right away, unconditionally. That means that the last third of the people you will ever meet will watch you, listen to you, and give you a chance to prove yourself before they make up their mind about you. The best thing you can do is to be the kind of person you would like to meet because when it comes right down to it, you are the only one you need to please.

You know the whole fact from fiction thing? Fantasy from reality? Truth from lies? I'd like to think I know the difference, but maybe I really don't. Maybe we shouldn't. I wish everything were happy like a movie. Why is it that we can watch these movies and people can write these perfect little screenplays and happy little dialogues, and everything is perfect, yet we don't learn anything from them, even though we really should? If things could be the way they are in movies, there would be a lot more happiness in the world.

But even though we're the ones who write the stupid love songs and the heartfelt movies, we still just can't seem to get it right in real life.


"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?

And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you now, still I miss you somehow

Chorus:
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two i'd like you to know
You were my first love,
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose

From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time will find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said,
"Please stay. Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about

But you put a dart through my dreams
Through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end

From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love,
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose

From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time will find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

You promised yourself
But to somebody else
And you make it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here

From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Never look back," we said,
How was I to know I'd miss you so?


Closure is a beautiful thing, if you can just let it be.

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.”

Why does everybody want to shoot at him? Seriously, most of the time I'm not even aware Will is there until somebody decides to shoot at him!

What did he do? I don't understand.

And poor Bill! He's always in court! ): "Bill Posters will be prosecuted." What did Bill do? And he's always getting stuff put on him. "Put that on my Bill, please." And they must be involved in some sort of slavery issues... people are always saying "my Bills," but still that ownership changes constantly. When you add another person, he becomes "our Bill," and if somebody else accepts the transfer, he becomes "their Bill."

On the plus side, Bills always get money. In fact, people get taken to court if they don't pay their Bills. But then in restaurants people offer to split the Bill with you -- is this some kind of sexual deviancy or an incitement to murder? And people also have a lot of confidence in Will, saying things like "When there's a Will, there's a way."

And Will is always called upon when somebody dies to sort out who gets what. He must be really good at that. But he sometimes gets greedy people arguing with him, which must be annoying. And even worse, they will go out to find a new Will! Like the old one wasn't good enough!

And isn't it ironic that Will and Bill are both nicknames for WILLIAM? So it all comes down to WILLIAM.

Frank, too, is another unfortunate character. He's always being impersonated. "Come on, I'll be Frank with you."

Jacks must be really cool, though. Saying you know him in an argument is a sure winner. Apparently knowing this Jack fellow means you're the winner.

    As I’m writing this last journal entry of my life, my eyes keep darting over to the handgun sitting on the table, so open and inviting. I’m sorely tempted, but I know better. I have to write this, my final farewell, first. I’d prefer to retell my life starting from three weeks ago… all the bad moments and recollections. That’s really the most interesting stuff – all the good memories you can find in any biography. Just look up Jack Jameson; you’ll find tons of information on the internet about me and my career.
    It used to be a wonderful career. I worked for the very prestigious television broadcasting company, ME TV. It stood for “Millennium Enterprises,” but it was better known as “me” as in, “me, a name I call myself” from the ever-so-infamous Sound of Music song. It was second to only one other company in its field: “Alpha Dimensions,” otherwise known as AD TV. I was a main actor in the television series From Behind the Operating Table. If you’re unfamiliar with it, which I somehow doubt, I’ll describe it briefly. You know the kind of show – a medical drama with more love/hate connections intertwined and connected than IVs in the entire hospital. Despite its stupid name, the show had a lot of avid viewers and was very top-grossing, with more ratings than most news stations.
    Things were going well at that point. I was engaged to my co-worker, Tiffany Lang, a fellow actress on the series who happened to play my character’s love interest. That did well for the on-screen “chemistry.” Disaster struck when the head of the company mysteriously died in a car accident, and his son took over the business. His son was an accountant, and had no idea what to do in this entirely different situation. Advisors took advantage of him, and long-term grudges against me and other actors fueled their fires. So the show was cancelled.
    I was unemployed, for the first time in my life. Ever since high school, I had found some way of making it through by doing small commercials or acting roles until I struck it big. But I had never been fully unemployed. It was a new feeling for me, and I didn’t know what to do. So I called my mother. She was the only person I felt I could count on. My fiancée had lately been kind of flakey, so I didn’t feel comfortable calling her. She wasn’t, after all, unemployed. Right after the show was cancelled, her manager was flooded with calls and opportunities for her.
    My mother suggested that I take a vacation. I had to agree; a vacation sounded pretty good right about then. I offered to take her, but she said she hadn’t been feeling too well lately, and that I should go and enjoy myself. After I got off the telephone with her, I called the travel agency and booked a flight to Aruba.  I figured the paparazzi would have a field day with that one. I could almost see the headlines now. “Washed-out actor washes up on Aruba beaches instead of looking for new work.” I would just laugh.
    My plane departed a week later, and I sat next to this elderly woman. She was very funny, and we exchanged light conversation during the flight. She told me she was meeting her granddaughter named Kelsey there, how Kelsey and I would get along so well, how beautiful she was…all sorts of things about this girl. I was vaguely interested, but I had to remember that I was due to be married in a few short months. I wasn’t about to waste the years Tiffany and I spent together on this girl, just because her grandmother was trying to influence me.
    The plane landed, and I bade the woman farewell, and watched where she went. She walked right towards this tall, blonde, tan woman in her mid-20’s. That had to be Kelsey, I thought. Uninterested, I turned around and started to walk towards my hotel. It was within walking distance of the small airport, the beach, and everything else. I was on a very small island, which was fine by me. After checking in and putting my bags down, I looked at my cell phone. I had two missed calls and a voice message. I’d listen to it later I decided, and shoved my phone back into my pocket. I walked out the door and headed for the beach. It was time to relax.
    Laying there on the beach was one of the most calming things in my life I had ever experienced. I drifted asleep, and no sooner were my eyes shut, when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I sat up suddenly, startled, and looked around. I noticed I was peering right into these big, brown doe eyes and I immediately thought of my fiancée.
    “Tiffany?” I asked, not breaking eye contact with these gorgeous eyes.
    “No. My name’s Kelsey,” a soft, light soprano voice answered.
    “Oh. Hi. I’m Jack,” I replied.
    “I know.”
    And in that brief dialogue, I felt something. A brief connection, maybe. I think it was the way she said “I know,” so matter-of-factly. Like she knew me. We started talking for hours on end. I told her about my show, about the corruption, how it was cancelled, my fiancée and her distance lately… anything and everything I could think of to tell her, I did.
    “You know, there’s something I wanted to ask you about your career. You see, I’m actually a –” The phone started ringing at that very moment, interrupting her.
“Excuse me, I have to take this,” I said politely, and stood up. “Hello?”
    “Jack? Thank God you answered. I tried to call you earlier, but I didn’t leave a message.”
    “Who is this?”
    “It’s Dave, your brother! Remember me?”
    Dave. Suddenly, memories started flooding back. I hadn’t spoken to him in years. We had had an argument a while back, probably about something pointless, but he told me to stay out of his life, so I did. “Yeah, Dave, I remember. What’s going on?”
    “Mom’s dead.”
    “What?”
    “Yeah. She passed away a few hours ago.”
    “That’s impossible. I just talked to her the other day and she sounded fine. She would have told me –” I broke off. She did mention that she didn’t feel well. I should have stayed home, but I didn’t accept it as true. I couldn’t believe this was happening. “I’m gonna have to go. I’ll need to fly back to the States. Let me call you back, okay?” And with that, I hung up the phone and walked back over to Kelsey.
    “What is it? What’s wrong?” She asked, so sweetly and innocently. It almost made me sick how nice she was.
    “It’s my mother. She’s dead. I have to go. With her gone, there’s really nothing left to live for.”
    “Jack! There’s plenty left to live for! You have your fiancée, and things will get better. I promise.” With the last two words, she flashed a smile.
    “No. I have to leave. It was nice meeting you, but I have to leave now. There’s nothing to stay for.” And with that, I walked back to the hotel and checked out. I picked up my bags from my room, and walked back over to the airport, willing to pay any amount of money to get back to the U.S. as quickly as possible.
    After what seemed like hours, the airport found a smalltime, freelance pilot willing to fly on such short notice. For a price, of course. When he and I finally landed, my face was wet and tear-stained. I hadn’t cried in a long time; probably since I was a little kid and scraped up my knee. I looked at my phone and decided to listen to the voicemail message. The robotic voice announced to me that I did, in fact, have one message from today. “Hey, Jack, it’s me, Tiffany.” I pressed 7 repeatedly, to delete the message. I didn’t feel like listening to it; I’d just call her back in a couple days and find out what was going on. I had more important things to deal with right now.
    Hailing a taxi, I directed the driver to my address. Tipping him generously, I raced out of the car and up to my apartment. I was exhausted from the day’s events, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I would call for the funeral arrangements tomorrow. I knew Dave couldn’t be counted on doing it; he was pretty much worthless. I was surprised he even had the courtesy to call me about her death. Which reminded me, I had to call him back. I quickly dialed his number, and he picked up a few rings later. Our brief conversation confirmed my beliefs about him. He asked me if I could call the local funeral home. I said that I had planned on doing so anyway, and Dave was relieved.
    For the next few days, I lounged around my house. I had called for the arrangements: there would be a small viewing, an even smaller funeral, with roses everywhere. The days leading up to the actual event seem a blur to me now.
    There were a few people at the funeral, like I had planned. There were a few faces that looked familiar. I knew I hadn’t invited them, so they must have found out another way. One face particularly struck me. She wore a long black jacket with the hood up, and a tuft of blonde hair was sticking out. Peering out from behind the hood, were two large brown eyes. They were familiar, and even now, I still can’t quite place it. My attention was drawn to Tiffany. She was there, of course, but she didn’t seem genuine. I approached her and told her that we needed to talk. I suggested lunch the next day at her favorite restaurant. She reluctantly agreed, and avoided me the rest of the day.
    After we all paid our final respects, the funeral scattered and I went home. I rehearsed what I was going to say to Tiffany tomorrow. I expected she’d confront me about being so distant, and I’d return the favor. By dessert, though, we’d probably be fine and she’d invite me back to her penthouse apartment. I went to bed anxious, and I could hardly sleep. I kept thinking about the next day.
    I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes late, blaming it on the traffic. Tiffany just nodded, and motioned at the empty seat across the table from her. I sat down quickly, and looked up at my fiancée expectantly for a few moments.
    “Well?” She finally asked me, staring at me.
    “Well what?”
    “What did you want to talk about that hasn’t already been said? You invited me out to lunch to talk – so talk!”
    “Wait, what do you mean ‘that hasn’t already been said?’ What does that even mean?” I was sincerely confused.
    “My message… didn’t you listen to it?”
    “Do you mean the one from almost two weeks ago? No, I didn’t listen to it. I deleted it, actually. I figured it couldn’t have been too important – and that I’d talk to you about it later.”
    “Oh.” Tiffany bit her lip, deeply in thought. “I didn’t want to do this in person. I figured it would be too difficult.”
    “Figured what would be too difficult?” I had an idea where this was going, but I wasn’t sure.
    Tiffany just looked at me, and suddenly reached down into her Louis Vuitton purse and withdrew a Chanel compact. She examined her reflection for a good minute, and then slammed the pieces shut. “This really would have been easier if you’d have just listened to my message!”
    I simply waited. I had endured her tantrums before. They passed relatively quickly, depending on the circumstances. I would just let her vent, and things would be fine.
    “I think we should call off the wedding,” she stated, her words too calm and monotone. It was easy to tell she was holding back her anger.
    “Why, exactly, do you think that?” I asked her. I looked up at the waiter, who had silently arrived and whispered to him that maybe he should come back in a few minutes.
    “Ha! Why do I think that? Oh, if you even have to ask…” Tiffany paused, breathed deeply, then continued. “Things have been weird lately. Between you and me, I mean.”
    I didn’t bother to correct her, to let her know that it was actually ‘you and I.’ That would just make her more angry.
    “I just don’t feel like we have any real chemistry any more. Ever since the show was cancelled, you’ve been kind of a deadbeat. It’s like you can’t get over it. I’m really sorry that this is happening around the time of your mother’s death… but I can’t change the timing of my feelings!” She just talked without saying much, in one continuous, babbling monologue. It was a line like so many of the clueless characters she played on television would have said. I realized then that it wasn’t much of a stretch for Tiffany to play a stereotypical mindless character. She hadn’t even let me get a word in edgewise, in an attempt to justify my sudden “weird, deadbeat attitude.”
    “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way,” was all I could manage right away. “Is there anything that could change your mind?”
    “No,” Tiffany said sharply. “There’s nothing you could ever do that would change my mind. Besides, I’ve found a new guy. His name is Alex, and he’s a screenwriter for the movies! He wants me to be the lead in his newest film!”
    “Oh, wow, that’s great. I’m really happy for you.” I really wasn’t. I wanted to tear through that smile on her face with my salad fork, then hunt down Alex and gouge out his eyes with my dessert spoon.
    She smiled, and looked at her watch. I noticed it was new, probably a present from Alex. “I have to go now. It’s been great. Keep in touch, all right?” She rose from her seat, leaned over, and kissed me on the cheek. I just sat there until the waiter returned, asking if I wished to order something or leave. I elected to leave.
    “I can’t do this anymore! I just can’t take it! I can’t write about this, it’s too hard!” Jack, the poor actor, cried to nobody in particular. In his frustration, he flung the journal at the trash can. It hit the side of the can, but fell to the floor rather than actually landing inside.
    He leapt at the handgun, and shoved it to his temple. Jack started laughing hysterically at the realization that shooting your temple never actually works. But he didn’t know how else to do it. Then he remembered the movies and shows he acted in always had the suicidal character shoot himself (or herself, as the case may be) in the mouth.
    Placing his lips around the barrel, Jack braced himself for sudden death. He released the safety, and pulled the trigger…
    …There was a click and nothing more. How disappointing! “Why didn’t it work?” Jack asked himself. “Why didn’t it work?”
    He checked the gun, and found that it was empty. Running around frantically, he searched for some bullets to fill the gun, but there were none to be found. “I can’t even kill myself right. It just goes to show that I really am worthless, just like Dave. My show was canceled, my fiancée calls off the engagement and dumps me, my mom – who was always my number-one fan and supporter – died… there’s nothing to look forward to anymore. There’s nothing to live for. I should have done this long ago and spared myself the pain.”
    All of a sudden, somebody at the door began knocking. Jack looked around, unsure of the source of the noise. He shrugged it off, and began looking for another means to kill himself. He looked around the room, and saw it: the television, the source of his misery. If he hadn’t worked in the industry, he wouldn’t have gotten fired, and he certainly wouldn’t have met, and later broken up with, Tiffany. It would somehow be fitting if he used the television to commit suicide. Thinking about it, on the other hand, he was unsure as to how exactly he would go about doing it. He couldn’t throw the television set on top of him. That wouldn’t guarantee his death.
    Jack sat down on the floor, and started to examine the wires. His fingers touched the sturdy, round cable cord, and his eyes flashed with an idea. He could tie the cable cord around his curtain rod and jump out the window. What a show that would be for the world! He quickly yanked out the cord and unraveled it from the wall. He wanted to do this as fast as he could, before he lost his nerve.
    Again, he heard the knocking and he wasn’t sure where it was coming from. Then he heard a voice, calling his name, “Jack? Jack? I know you’re in there, open up!” The door opened, but Jack hadn’t noticed. He was too busy laughing at the situation, at whoever was at the door, at committing suicide with a cable cord. He tied the cord to the curtain rod and pushed open the sliding glass balcony door. He looked out at the clear, sunny day and smiled. Oh, how good it felt to be alive… right before you die.
    Jack took a deep breath and balanced his feet on the edge of the balcony. “Long live ME TV!” He shouted to the world, looking down at the tiny ant-like people.
    “Jack, stop it! Step away from the balcony right now!”
    “What? Are you interrupting my suicide? That’s just great! I can’t do it right with an audience!” He whirled around, determined to stare his interrupter in the eye. Familiar, bright brown eyes stared back at him. “Kelsey,” he murmured.
    “Yes. What are you doing?”
    “I’m killing myself! I told you before, in Aruba, there’s nothing left to live for!” A realization suddenly kicked Jack in the face. “What are you even doing here? Why are you in my house?”
    “I contacted your old manager. I wanted to use him as a reference, and he said you had been really strange lately, so I decided to investigate.” I asked her what the reference was for.
    “Before your phone rang and you ran away so suddenly in Aruba, I tried to tell you that I was interested in having you star in a new show I’m producing. I’m a television producer at AD TV. That’s why I promised you things would get better. I’m offering you a chance to get a grip on your life again. All you need to do is step away from that balcony and come with me down to the studio.” Her eyes were comforting, but still Jack hesitated before taking a small step towards her. Kelsey extended her hand out to him, and he lightly shook it.
    “I think I need to take care of this,” Jack touched the cord around his neck, “before I can go with you down to the studio.” His pathetic attempt at humor made Kelsey smile, and she escorted him back into the house to untie the cord that represented his almost-death. She happened to glance at the trash can with the journal lying next to it. She looked at Jack, who was otherwise occupied, and picked it up, placing the book into her purse.

The subject says it all.

I hate it, intensely.

Oh, well.

I'll get better, right?

I'ma go back to bed. (:

<33

50.000 ways to make
another one of your mistakes
tearing down what we build up
tell me when it's gonna...
stop the time that we let pass
for reasons we can't understand
maybe it's a little late
but I think it is worth the...
wait, stop listen please
this is not a little breeze
it's a storm that we are in
this is making my head...
spin around, around again
make ourselves a brand new plan
saving this companionship
try to get a grip

close your eyes
turn your head
walk away
don't look back
close your eyes
turn your head
stop this game
don't look back

pouring out the wine we kept
for occasions such as this
swallowing it all for you
I think I had a glass to...
many thoughts have slipped my mind
can I tell you one more time
I am losing faith in you
without a doubt without a...
clueless, mindless, thoughtless moves
I don't know which path to choose
it's hard but we have to admit
that we have to quit

it's gone too far
this is too hard
we're driving each other in a corner

we are drowning ourselves
so just let me go

Saying my name will not bring me out of oblivion.

So I'm having 100 kids, apparently.

They're all already named, too.

I'd better get started, huh?

Ernie's 16 kids:

Brolly, Bulma, Cambria, Cell, Chi-Chi, Coheed, Frieza, Gohan, Goku, Gotenks, Haiden, Krillin, Marlykins Jr, Master Roshi, Picollo, and Yami


Maria's 20 kids:

Dugkisferm, Child 1, Child 2, Child 3, Child 4, Child 5, Child 6, Child 7, Child 8, Child 9, Child 10, Child 11, Child 12, Child 13, Cihld 14, Child 15, Child 16, Child 17, Child 18, Child 19


Sam's 5 kids:

Juan, Pablo, Julio, Esperanza, Juanita


Maria's cat's 10 kids:

Cathuman 1, Cathuman 2, Cathuman 3, Cathuman 4, Cathuman 5, Cathuman 6, Cathuman 7, Cathuman 8, Cathuman 9, Cathuman 10


William's 23 kids:

Cloud, Carpet, Cup, CD, Desk, Fan, Lamp, Monitor, Television, Speakers, Trophy, Door, Window, Pillow, Blankety, Mirror, Warm, Bock, Games, Video, Talk, Send, Teag


Al's 13 kids:

Criss, Jess, Alex, Amber, Jim, Josh, Nick, Kim, Steve, Mike, Laura, Jen, Johnny


Maria's cup of water's 13 kids:

Waterhuman 1, Waterhuman 2, Waterhuman 3, Waterhuman 4, Waterhuman 5, Waterhuman 6, Waterhuman 7, Waterhuman 8, Waterhuman 9, Waterhuman 10, Waterhuman 11, Waterhuman 12, Waterhuman 13

My dearest Marlykins,

An angel kissed a star which fell to Earth. Upon it was written what I am about to say to you now, and burned upon my heart was your precious name.

Only heaven would outcast an alluring work of God's perfection like you, because even divine angels cannot look upon your delicate face without sacrificing themselves for you. There is just something about you which makes me want to take you in my arms and keep you forever.

What manner of creature can resist those gorgeous brown eyes of yours which look like glass marbles shimmering in the sunlight. I'm sure you have a lot of fun taking them out and playing marbles with your friends on a night. Okay, so that probably doesn't happen, but you understand where I'm coming from.

Your dazzling naturally-brown hair always brightens up my day and my life. Just looking at it is enough to remind me of those flashing Japanese Manga characters or even those little plastic troll dolls. Remember those? Don't you think they kind of remind you of a sweet old grandmother? I'm not calling you old, so please don't take it that way.

I've always enjoyed walking along the beach with you. Just the two of us alone, walking along while the sun sets. I know there's always the fear of not finding our way back in the dark (because beaches don't have street lights installed) but fear not my love, because I bought one of those LED torches the other day, so rest assured we will be okay.

Words alone cannot express how unique my love is for you. I love you, and you only, I swear that to you my love ....having said that, I do love my mobile phone which I always love using to send you text flirts with. (; Remember that time I sent you a rude text flirt and I accidentally sent it to your mother?! And remember that time we were making out, and I had to leave in a hurry so I threw the phone at you, and said "Set it to vibrate and finish yourself off!"? You see love, it does have its other uses, but thats besides the point. My point is that I love you and my love for you is unique (isn't it weird how the word "unique" and "eunuch" sound the same? The word "Unix" also sounds similar, but "chimpanzee" doesn't)

I can't remember if I've already told you this but I really do love your chest. It's such a turn on to look at and it's one of the many reasons I love being with you my love. Sometimes I wish I could do nothing but stare at your chest all day, but I'm not sure that's a good idea my love, as people will probably think I'm some kind of nut case and I might get taken away by the men in white coats.

Anyway darling, I must depart now. I really can't wait to see you again, especially if you are gonna be wearing sexy leopard skin underwear for me! Go on, surprise me! I've often wondered what you would look like wearing those, and many a nights have gone by where I would sit and fantasise about you wearing leopard skin underwear and I would have no need to watch music videos any more.

You are always in my thoughts my dear lover, with every fiery red flame of passion within my burning soul which is dark and empty without your gentle caressing touch!

I remain a humble slave to your lustful thoughts,

Nebulon

xxx @}-->---

Please turn up the radio, I don't want to hear the sound of my heart breaking again and again.

These memories need to go, ripping out my hair, cutting up my wrists, thinking of you, get out of my head!

Simple things remind me, like the words from our song: the background music to all our special moments that turned out to be lies.

--

Oh! Beautiful stranger, it took me a while to see your plan... with your candy-coated razorblade lips telling me half-truths and fairy tales. I bleed for you tonight!

Are you thinking of the past? Do the memories follow you through life? Do they cut up your heart like a knife?

I want to be okay again, but I'm not; I don't want to love you, but I do; I want to tear you down and scream "fuck you!"

Oh! Beautiful murderer who captured my heart! Must you break me down when I'm already falling apart?



This actually isn't for anybody in particular.

I just felt like being... poetically emo for once. xD

Razorblade kisses and bloody hugs,
Your lovely emo kitten.

[23:09] hello apollo x3: JOHNNY JOHNNY I GOT A DOG.
[23:09] sakaplaya777: WHOA!!!!!! what kind?
[23:10] hello apollo x3: A bichon frise.
[23:10] hello apollo x3: She's five years old and slightly overweight and I love her.
[23:10] hello apollo x3: Her name is Gracie.
[23:10] sakaplaya777: sweet! i wish i had a dog
[23:10] hello apollo x3: So did !
[23:10] hello apollo x3: I!
[23:10] hello apollo x3: and then I did.
[23:10] hello apollo x3: She came into work tonight.
[23:10] hello apollo x3: I cried.
[23:11] sakaplaya777: haha, why
[23:11] hello apollo x3: I was so happy.
[23:11] sakaplaya777: hahaha
[23:11] sakaplaya777: cool
[23:12] sakaplaya777: so when was this?
[23:12] hello apollo x3: Today!
[23:12] sakaplaya777: OH!! that must be soo cool for you! how did you get her?
[23:13] hello apollo x3: My cousin text messaged me saying she had a present and I was like okay.
[23:13] hello apollo x3: So she arrived and said to come outside.
[23:13] hello apollo x3: So I asked my manager if it was okay.
[23:13] hello apollo x3: And he said yeah
[23:14] hello apollo x3: So I walked out to the car, and my mom, Sheryl's mom, and Sheryl was there... and there was this dog in the backseat.
[23:14] hello apollo x3: I saw it was a bichon frise and squealed. I started petting her and she licked me and so I started crying.
[23:14] hello apollo x3: I asked whose dog it was, and everyone said she was mine.
[23:14] hello apollo x3: I was so excited.
[23:15] sakaplaya777: ahah! that's sooo frickin tight!!! you're soo lucky!
[23:15] hello apollo x3: I love her. (:
[23:16] sakaplaya777: sounds like you had a totally rad day ( ;

I've recently developed a new-found passion for old ladies.

They're mad cute, especially when they're drunk! (That makes it easier to get their clothes off, haha).

I also love the way they sometimes pinch your cheeks... I do mean the ones on your face, of course. I'm not that naughty... unlike Ernie. xD

They also like fruit platters... and luncheons at restaurants. They often cause scenes, which is pretty effing hot.

I love old ladies with their big old purses. I often wonder what they hold in there... hmm...

I'll find out one day!



[01:39] OoDeath BloomsXX: I made a fruit Platter
[01:39] OoDeath BloomsXX: for the old ladies
[01:39] OoDeath BloomsXX: and they were like hugging me and shiz.
[01:39] nebulonxstardust: Aww, they liked you!
[01:39] OoDeath BloomsXX: yeah lol
[01:40] nebulonxstardust: Did any ask for your number? (;
[01:40] OoDeath BloomsXX: no lol
[01:40] OoDeath BloomsXX: i wooulda
[01:40] nebulonxstardust: You would give your number out to old ladies?
[01:40] OoDeath BloomsXX: called em ;)
[01:40] OoDeath BloomsXX: yeah
[01:40] nebulonxstardust: Wow.
[01:40] nebulonxstardust: That's... wow.
[01:40] OoDeath BloomsXX: free bingo
[01:40] nebulonxstardust: You like 'em old, huh?
[01:40] OoDeath BloomsXX: thats the shiz.
[01:40] nebulonxstardust: Lmfao.
[01:41] OoDeath BloomsXX: i got invited to bingo
[01:41] OoDeath BloomsXX: but i told them i hadda work
[01:41] nebulonxstardust: Aww, you turned down the old ladies?
[01:41] nebulonxstardust: They'll be depressed now.
[01:41] nebulonxstardust: You know, the suicide rate is highest among the elderly...
[01:41] nebulonxstardust: I blame you for the suicides of those ladies.
[01:41] OoDeath BloomsXX: LOL
[01:41] OoDeath BloomsXX: nah they were happy
[01:42] nebulonxstardust: That you rejected them??
[01:42] OoDeath BloomsXX: they also got PLASTERED at the bar after
[01:42] nebulonxstardust: So you like them old and alcoholic... interesting.
[01:42] OoDeath BloomsXX: yeah its easyier to get there clothes off.
[01:42] nebulonxstardust: Lmfao.
[01:42] nebulonxstardust: I see why they like you... you're naughty. Hahaha.
[01:43] OoDeath BloomsXX: ;-D
[01:44] nebulonxstardust: We have strange conversations.

I love random conversations with my friends. xD

<3

I'll do anything for you
This story is for you`
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to for you)
I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I loved you

Coheed & Cambria, "Wake Up"

Well, we're making some progress.

She said that she would remove the Intro to Film course and replace it with something else.

I chose Child Development over Fiber Art.

She did fail to address my other two courses, though. I suspect she's talking to the principal, because I said some nasty things about him.

I called him irresponsible for promising something to a student and failing to follow through, since he was the only one with authority to change my classes and other things.

I have this problem with my guidance counselors.

They've given me the completely wrong schedule... meaning, they've given me classes I didn't sign up for or I've already taken.

I signed up for AP Bio and got Environmental Science. I signed up for AP English; I got Academic.

Also, I received some pointless FCS classes I never wanted to take... along with Intro to Film, which I took last year and passed.

So I messaged my counselors and they failed to do anything. I wrote them so many times and they never wrote me back. So this time, I decided to be a little more "mean," and this time my counselor actually did write back.

Regarding my "mean" letter, she said:

"Additionally I would advise you in the future to be very diplomatic rather than abrupt when emailing adults and/or your peers. Although I understand and can empathize with your frustration, I do firmly believe that you’ll leave a better impression on everyone."

How about "fuck you"? Does that leave a better impression on you?

It's my senior year, I think they should deal with what I want rather than what they feel like doing to my schedule.